Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Balkan Supermen


Hellooooo. Here I am, breathing, working out and having enough time to read and watch movies. I`m evolving. In a week or so my private life will go back to normal and I`ll start living as an average 24-year old.

My English friend Katharine came to visit me, so there we were, walking along Grafa street and chatting about our sexual lives or at least what was left of them. She had a laugh when she saw the numerous SexWell shops and was completely flabbergasted when I told her it was not like a WW3 when you had to go and buy condoms. She only blushed-the curse of the redhead- and said: “No wonder Bulgarian girls are sooo beautiful, I guess Bulgarian men satisfy them in bed.” I decided not to contradict the above-mentioned statement firstly because the majority of Bulgarian women are ways prettier than British women and secondly, I was not completely sure why she was speaking about all British men like they were all the same crap in bed. She wasn’t late to answer. She said English guys can shag you for up to 5 minutes, then they get the dumb expression saying uh, I`m about to cum and just before you`ve realized your panties are down, they are through. On top of that, you have to be sympathetic, tell them it happens, it`s ok… 5 minutes? Come on, even rabbits do it longer! I was happy to add another expression to my vocab- brewer`s droop, the expression they use for guys who can`t get a hard-on after a few beers. Seriously?! Lol…


Now`s the time to praise Bulgarian men for their impressive range of sex games is simply. They hardly ever experience the brewer`s droop moment because they are alcohol-resistant and it does take a lot of booze to get them soft. On the other hand, they get drunk enough to keep going, which means there`s more time for us to come. In addition, most guys are really open when it comes to new stuff, educational magazines, toys, porn. This whole set of things increases their confidence and we all know that confidence is good in bed. Bulgarian men are not to be underestimated: when they come too soon, they say it`s because they are too horny OR they cannot come and start giving you excuses like: I`m too busy at work/ I think too much about your ex`s and/or the switch of the oven, the neighbours` dog, blah, blah… Of course, you`re expected to say “Relax, a blowjob will get you back in the game”. Or maybe stroke him like a good dog… Erm, maybe I`m not THAT into you.


Anyway, enough with dissing. To be honest, men are great at sex when they do what we want them to do. Sometimes 10 minutes are absolutely sufficient to see God, but there are times when a woman can`t have an orgasm for 2 hours. Well, she can have one, but that`s for pros. Great sex always leads you to the wrong conclusion that he`s the ONE. Great sex with a great Bulgarian man can make you think that it equals love. I beg every woman on the planet Earth to get this idea out of her head and never say those precious three words during sex. It`s sex, Ok? Right?!


Meanwhile, I concentrate on men`s feet and noses. I have someone`s particular feet and nose in mind and to me it`s just like 200 volts of electricity…like diving…like a shot of aftershock.

photo: here

No comments:

Post a Comment